| Season 3 |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x01 - Weekend in Bangkok
After falling off the roof, Alan needs someone to watch Jake and Charlie offers, until, it interferes with his social life. (report broken) | | 
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x02 - Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x03 - Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Charlie, finds out that Alan and Judith have begun to date again. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x04 - Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x05 - We Called It Mr. Pinky.
Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship because of unresolved issues he has with his mother. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x06 - Hi, Mr. Horned One
Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x07 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x08 - That Voodoo That I Do Do
Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x09 - Madame and Her Special Friend
One of Charlie's elderly neighbours tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x10 - Something Salted and Twisted
Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x11 - Santa's Village of the Damned
Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x12 - That Special Tug
Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x13 - Humiliation is a Visual Medium
Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x14 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x15 - My Tongue is Meat
Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x16 - Ergo, The Booty Call
Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x17 - The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x18 - The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x19 - Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x20 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x21 - And the Plot Moistens
Jake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x22 - Just Once With Aunt Sophie
A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x23 - Arguments for the Quickie
Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. (report broken) | |
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| Two and a Half Men - 3x24 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas. (report broken) | |
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